Funking in the Wild Yonder


Funky walkers are out walking in the springtime. Ernest here has his very best shades on and his favourite red boots. Ok, so they belong to Margaret but she doesn’t care. She doesn’t need stupid stuff like footwear to go out walking. Not when she loves Ernest so much anyway, and doesn’t he look so cool in those funky shades of his?

“Hey Ernest! Look at the people! Say hello to the people” she says, but Ernest is too cool to acknowledge fools like you and me. He’s too busy funking in his shades and the sexy red boots. He’s checking out a squirrel and exchanging glances with a fox. Badger’s nowhere but hey that’s cool. We’ll hang out some other time. Let’s all just chill out here and look cool in our shades and our boots in the forest.

“Did you bring any food?” asks Margaret. “Did you bring the sandwiches that were on the kitchen table?” she says but Ernest doesn’t lose his cool though. Cool guys don’t need food, don’t need them stupid sandwiches and the little boxes of salad and the napkins and stuff. All that nonsense with the spoons and the plastic forks is for old people and squares.  How can you scrape a bit of cheesecake from a cardboard plate and still be funky? No, you can’t so you don’t even try.

But damn that because a cheese and pickle sandwich would be so good right now. What good are red boots when your stomach grumbles and all you can think of is cheesecake and biscuits and crisps? Your mind floats off in a dream of light refreshment and all the funk is gone.

“Let’s go back to that cafe” she says and Ernest breaks his silence. “Yeah babe” is all he says. He’s still cool. He’s still funky and now sandwiches are back on the menu.

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