Are They Detectives?


Are they detectives? Have they come to investigate you? It’s hard to say. One has tweed trousers and a fancy hat but the other looks like a simpleton and he came here in his socks. You look at them and you think “The one on the left is an idiot and I’ll be safe with him”, but you won’t. You’ll be right up to your neck in it.

“How’s that?” you ask, “I’ve got nothing to hide.” That’s your biggest mistake though, isn’t it? All the while you’re standing there and smiling politely because you think he’s a dimwit, he’s looking at you through the corner of his eye and sizing you up like a professional.

He’s spotted that your flies are half undone and that you’ve got jam on your shirt. He knows that you slept in a ditch again and you’re on the run from the people. He’s got your number, don’t you worry.

It’s the other guy that’s a bit soft but he’s got a nice hat and a charming smile. Stick with him talking about ginger cakes and the weather and you’ll be fine.

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