Scouting About

scouting “I’ve seen this before!” says the angry troop member,  “We’re going round in circles, past this spot where welsh rarebit was only he’s gone now”. The patrol leader doesn’t care for this kind of negative, disobedient talk. “Shut your trap you little traitor!” he says but then suddenly he realises he’s gone too far. Maybe the snivelling little cub scout is right after all. Yes, they’re hopelessly lost and even Welsh Rarebit isn’t here any more to set them straight and guide them on their way.

Yes, the only thing is to stand and salute. The one thing you can count upon in times of trouble is obedience and Knowing Your Place. If only people would stand and salute more often, there wouldn’t be room for all this confusion and disorder. There wouldn’t be time to snivel and cry and question your superiors for you’d be standing smart and sharp, looking good and not descending into the filth and anarchy.

Yes, if anything it’s like a kind of brainstorming where you summon up order and sense rather than creativity and new ideas. Simply by standing to attention and saluting, you can feel the world of scout halls and parade grounds and church services coming back once again. No more hunger. No more frostbite. No more sleeping in a muddle and crying for mummy. All that stupid weakness is a distant memory.

Damn, maybe we should listen to the little twerp and look at the map. He says it’s easy with a compass and looking at the landmarks but it’s all so confusing. I’d have to let him do it and then the integrity of the hierarchical system would be compromised irretrievably. Damn that for a fashion. Can’t be done. Can’t give in to this kind of communism and see all the small people chipping in and contributing to the confusion. That’s how we get lost, not this map reading bullshit. It’s because we listen to them that say we’re lost.

It’s okay. Keep on saluting until the ideas come. Just you see if they don’t.

3 responses to “Scouting About”

  1. Sop says:

    What’s all that…r u an anarchist or sth? :-)))))))))))))

  2. admin says:

    There’s always that slight possibility, such that it would be foolish not to entertain it.

  3. Padma says:

    Good advice. The power of saluting is under-recognised in our society. That’s probably why we’re in such a mess.

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